A fairly simple post this time that could have vey complex reactions....think about your life or just think about...whatever...and after each thought ask why??? doesn't have to be thought provoking, deep, spiritual but it does have to be...something...you don't even have to write the question..just the answer..here's mine...
Because I decided to open my heart and my mind to something that is not tangible, I literally took a "leap of faith" and so far I am enjoying the results tremendously.
Enjoy everyone...
Friday, February 4, 2011
Thursday, December 30, 2010
A year in review
It has been quite a year...Somethings lost, somethings found....As I prepare to fight to keep myself awake for another New Years celebration I guess its okay to reflect a little bit....we all measure ourselves in accomplishments in some aspect or another a new car, shirt, pair of socks, job...it's all relative...for me it was definitely a year of self reflection and soul searching and that's good...I think we all need to sit down with ourselves and take a good long hard look to see whats what. I was proud of the way I handled myself after losing my job suddenly after nearly 11 years of working my tail off to build a crap hole of a store into something special. While yes I was stressed out beyond belief, with the help of a strong family unit, some strong personal feelings about the situation and how I handled it, to my ever growing new found spirituality and the kind words of lots of friends it was a time that I really loved just being a family man and a father. It was a role I loved and a job as many of you know that I cherished...I'm not really into the whole New Years resolution thing but I do have some things I would like to do and gear towards. I have fallen off the horse a little bit when it concerns my running and overall health. I have a new job and a new schedule that I am still trying to figure out and making time for family and fitness has not been easy. It is a problem I will have to conquer quickly however as I have already planned 2 big races in 2011...first the toughmudder in Allentown in April and the Pocono marathon in May....should be fun but I have alot of work ahead of me....so to all I wish you a happy healthy and prosperous new year!!!! Remember make time in your life for the things you are passionate about..love yourself and the rest is easy...and thank you to everyone especially my beautiful wife and 2 beautiful girls for making me strive to be someone to look up to.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
The Man who had everything....
It was a beautiful night and the man who had everything was deep in reflection. He thought back on how his multi-million dollar house, his leased luxury sport utility vehicle, and his trophy wife were all a facade. He unbuttoned his Armani suit and threw it over his right shoulder, watching it hit a wind gust and fly up over his head and then start drifting towards the soil. He thought about all the people he had swindled, all the lies he had told and all the lives he had ruined. It caused a wry smile to pierce his lips as he loosened his tie and let it fall to his waist and drop towards the soil. He thought about the wife he hated, the affairs he had loved, and the family he never had. As he was taking off his shirt he had a terrible thought...."who would feed the dog?" He loved that dog...whatever his name was. He reached his arms out and started caressing his face loosening his diamond encrusted watch and watched as it dropped to the earth below. The air was crisp and caused him to shiver as he reached his arms out and began grasping himself as if he were holding someone he truly loved in a warm loving embrace. As he dropped to the earth below, he smiled..told himself that he loved him, and then closed his eyes forever.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Absence Makes....
"Absence makes the heart grow fonder",
How many times have we heard this popular phrase? I never really put much homage into it until very recently. Now some may think for me when I'm saying the above phrase it would be in reference to my unemployed startus, being absent from working. This actually could be further from the truth!!! I realy have enjoyed being home with the family, it is a time that I have embraced and cherished and while there is never really a "good" time to be unemployed and worrying about every penny you spend, this happened at the right time for me, I needed it.
So with that being said what I really miss is....my wife.
Now call me a softy, call me whipped and that's all fine but I definately see things from her perspective now. And what I mean by that is if I ever had to work late or go in early or stay in Jersey or travel to a meeting etc. etc.. I really never put much thought into calling my wife and telling her plainly and matter-of-factly that I had to work late. Never really thought about how that made her feel or my girls feel..until now. Getting a call from her saying that she was going to stay late at work to finish up some things kinda got me bummed. I was looking forward to her short day and now that was postponed. Now I am in no way writing this to put her on a guilt trip or make her upset simply because put in that situation again, I know I would have to do the same thing, just as she does now..work is work money is money and we all know that money makes the world go round. Just simply stating that this is yet another example of taking things for granted and sometimes taking other peoples feelings for granted.
Lesson learned for me.
How many times have we heard this popular phrase? I never really put much homage into it until very recently. Now some may think for me when I'm saying the above phrase it would be in reference to my unemployed startus, being absent from working. This actually could be further from the truth!!! I realy have enjoyed being home with the family, it is a time that I have embraced and cherished and while there is never really a "good" time to be unemployed and worrying about every penny you spend, this happened at the right time for me, I needed it.
So with that being said what I really miss is....my wife.
Now call me a softy, call me whipped and that's all fine but I definately see things from her perspective now. And what I mean by that is if I ever had to work late or go in early or stay in Jersey or travel to a meeting etc. etc.. I really never put much thought into calling my wife and telling her plainly and matter-of-factly that I had to work late. Never really thought about how that made her feel or my girls feel..until now. Getting a call from her saying that she was going to stay late at work to finish up some things kinda got me bummed. I was looking forward to her short day and now that was postponed. Now I am in no way writing this to put her on a guilt trip or make her upset simply because put in that situation again, I know I would have to do the same thing, just as she does now..work is work money is money and we all know that money makes the world go round. Just simply stating that this is yet another example of taking things for granted and sometimes taking other peoples feelings for granted.
Lesson learned for me.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Greetings and Salutations
I used to write...alot. It was mostly sappy love poems or semifictional short stories about every day dilemnas that every day people go through. But then one day I stopped writing. I don't know why I stopped and truth be told I don't know why I'm starting this now..but I figure why not start writing again..start throwing some emotions and feelings back down on paper...well close enough...
I have had alot of twists and turns in my life, and while they may not have been overly dramatic or awe inspiring, they were enough for me to stop and take notice. I guess a good place to start is a subject that every one can relate to fear...I have had 2 major instances of fear in my life. the first one has had a negative impact on my life and the second has definately been a positive.
I was never really good in school...I look back and realize that while I definately don't consider myself stupid, I can say that I completely had no motivation at all to excel in school. I scated by doing the bare minimum. When I graduated from High School and moved on to college, the effects of "real life" became crystal clear..I had picked a major..elementary education and was told by pretty much everyone I knew that it was a perfect choice for me. I remember distinctly in my freshmen year being told by my Religions of the West teacher that as a male elementary school teacher that I better have my door open at all times, the shades up and make my class as accessible to everyone as possible. He told me that I would at some point in my career be charged by some student with some sexual related incident. Now as harrowing and nervy as that is for a professor to tell his student, I feel most if not all people would see that as a challenge and fight and overcome and prove that professor wrong! Me...it SCARED THE HELL OUT OF ME!!! I don't know if it was conscious or unconscious but I took 2 giant steps back from my college education and reverted back to trying to skirt by...I was AFRAID to carry on and graduate and be put in that situation, so I self-sabotaged myself and gave up on college a lttle over 2 years into it. It is a great sense of embarrassment to me and one that I don't think I have talked about all that much if at all to my parents and my family. I deeply regret wasting their money and that time I can never get back. I have spoken on a number of occassions with my wife about going back to school once our own children have grown and left our home....we shall see....
The second case of fear in my life has positively influenced me...this one is a story that most of you who know me are aware of. I was experiecning pain in my chest and put it off for quite some time...I despise doctors and it was the last thing I ever wanted to do. But the pain did not go away, it morphed into dizzy spells and aching and throbing days...so I finally shocked my wife and told her I wanted to see the doctor.
Well I walked in sat down told my physician my symptons, my family history and she having no chart on me at all and not knowing me, turned me around and told me to go to the hospital!!! I remember my wife driving me to St. Lukes in Bethlehem and thinking, really?!?!? What the hell!!! Well we got there and being that I had a "heart" condition was admitted right away. I was given a number of tests and told that I had an irregular heartbeat and was going to be admitted!!! I remember the nurse telling me that they can shock my heart back to a regular beat and thinking to myself...okay this is real!!! AGAIN I WAS AFRAID!!!
Thankfully, it all was okay...the magnitude of tests afterwards including 4 EKG's showed nothing except the fact that I was borderline diabetic, had high cholesterol, and was obese...well this I decided to tackle head on...
I turned to my brother for assistance and he in turn gave me a beginners guide to...running. It quite honestly has saved my life. It started at 1 minute intervals running and I remember the first day on the treadmill, feeling like I was going to die 20 seconds into my 1 minute run. But Ikept at it and boy am Iglad I did...to date I have lost 80 lbs, droped my cholesterol put the diabetes risk in the rearview mirror and look forward to running my first marathon in May 2011!!!
To those that decided to read this, sorry for the long ramblings. But this blog and it's contents are as much for me as they are for whomever decides to read it. I promise going forward to touch on more topics of interest to me and hopefully to some of you. Iwill talk about religion and my recent decision to become vegetarian as well as general ramblings...
So thank you for taking the time to read this and I will end with a final question......WHAT DO YOU FEAR ...AND HOW DO YOU OR WILL YOU OR HAVE YOU HANDLED IT???
eRIC
I have had alot of twists and turns in my life, and while they may not have been overly dramatic or awe inspiring, they were enough for me to stop and take notice. I guess a good place to start is a subject that every one can relate to fear...I have had 2 major instances of fear in my life. the first one has had a negative impact on my life and the second has definately been a positive.
I was never really good in school...I look back and realize that while I definately don't consider myself stupid, I can say that I completely had no motivation at all to excel in school. I scated by doing the bare minimum. When I graduated from High School and moved on to college, the effects of "real life" became crystal clear..I had picked a major..elementary education and was told by pretty much everyone I knew that it was a perfect choice for me. I remember distinctly in my freshmen year being told by my Religions of the West teacher that as a male elementary school teacher that I better have my door open at all times, the shades up and make my class as accessible to everyone as possible. He told me that I would at some point in my career be charged by some student with some sexual related incident. Now as harrowing and nervy as that is for a professor to tell his student, I feel most if not all people would see that as a challenge and fight and overcome and prove that professor wrong! Me...it SCARED THE HELL OUT OF ME!!! I don't know if it was conscious or unconscious but I took 2 giant steps back from my college education and reverted back to trying to skirt by...I was AFRAID to carry on and graduate and be put in that situation, so I self-sabotaged myself and gave up on college a lttle over 2 years into it. It is a great sense of embarrassment to me and one that I don't think I have talked about all that much if at all to my parents and my family. I deeply regret wasting their money and that time I can never get back. I have spoken on a number of occassions with my wife about going back to school once our own children have grown and left our home....we shall see....
The second case of fear in my life has positively influenced me...this one is a story that most of you who know me are aware of. I was experiecning pain in my chest and put it off for quite some time...I despise doctors and it was the last thing I ever wanted to do. But the pain did not go away, it morphed into dizzy spells and aching and throbing days...so I finally shocked my wife and told her I wanted to see the doctor.
Well I walked in sat down told my physician my symptons, my family history and she having no chart on me at all and not knowing me, turned me around and told me to go to the hospital!!! I remember my wife driving me to St. Lukes in Bethlehem and thinking, really?!?!? What the hell!!! Well we got there and being that I had a "heart" condition was admitted right away. I was given a number of tests and told that I had an irregular heartbeat and was going to be admitted!!! I remember the nurse telling me that they can shock my heart back to a regular beat and thinking to myself...okay this is real!!! AGAIN I WAS AFRAID!!!
Thankfully, it all was okay...the magnitude of tests afterwards including 4 EKG's showed nothing except the fact that I was borderline diabetic, had high cholesterol, and was obese...well this I decided to tackle head on...
I turned to my brother for assistance and he in turn gave me a beginners guide to...running. It quite honestly has saved my life. It started at 1 minute intervals running and I remember the first day on the treadmill, feeling like I was going to die 20 seconds into my 1 minute run. But Ikept at it and boy am Iglad I did...to date I have lost 80 lbs, droped my cholesterol put the diabetes risk in the rearview mirror and look forward to running my first marathon in May 2011!!!
To those that decided to read this, sorry for the long ramblings. But this blog and it's contents are as much for me as they are for whomever decides to read it. I promise going forward to touch on more topics of interest to me and hopefully to some of you. Iwill talk about religion and my recent decision to become vegetarian as well as general ramblings...
So thank you for taking the time to read this and I will end with a final question......WHAT DO YOU FEAR ...AND HOW DO YOU OR WILL YOU OR HAVE YOU HANDLED IT???
eRIC
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